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新年前的冥想Pause Before Reset the Clock – Being Another Restless 2015?

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Silhouette of mixed race businesswoman and city skyline

By Anthony Shi

毫不夸张的说,我们中国人生下来就欠缺些诸如想象力和放轻松之类的概念。我们的字典里通常都是奉献、汗水、精明且永不落伍之类的词汇。这些属性深深地植根于我们工作以及养家糊口的方式中,当然也植根于我们对即将到来的新的一年的展望中。

还记得2014年那惊鸿一瞥般的“APEC蓝”吗?久违的湛蓝天空仿佛一下子冲走了北京持续的浓浓雾霾,但这样的日子只持续了几天。面对北京APEC峰会期间的短暂好天气,中国网民们自然免不了戏谑一番,新词“APEC蓝”便是他们的“创造成果”。出乎意料的是,国家领导人习近平引用了“APEC蓝”这一新词,并且发表了应对环境问题的正面声明,而这在以前是不可想象的。我不禁意识到,我们的整个社会正需要更多的幽默感。它听起来不错,但从广义而言,它更多是出于人们对雾霾等环境问题的无助。

种种症状显示,我们比以往任何时候都躁动不安,快速转型的社会面临着越来越多的问题,但我们似乎还嫌不够多。

在庆祝自己成立十周年之际,旅游度假预订网站穷游网(Qyer.com)今年在中国收获了业务量爆炸性的增长,同时也引发了大量的争议。该网站名称寓意“穷人的旅游”。“2015年我的决心之一就是辞掉工作去周游世界,即使我的经费不够,但如果我节省一点并且在旅游途中打打零工,我依然能够前往更多的国家旅游。”一位台湾女孩Sylvie Chan表示。由于她十分热爱旅游但经常囊中羞涩,因此她对这一想法十分痴迷。但她仅仅是中国如今抱有这种想法的成千上万的年轻人之一,他们中有的是大学生,有的是新生代白领。

到底是什么推动着这一趋势,让这些年轻人不安于“踏踏实实过日子”而要想方设法出去旅游?许多老一代对此纳闷不已,百思不得其解。此外,如今的年轻人不仅想要“周游列国”,而且更希望“满载而归”。有着中国“黑色星期五”之称的天猫“11.11”购物狂欢节,今年的声势尽管比前几年低调,但仍然凭借惊人的单日销售额记录:人民币541亿元,轻松击败了美国的黑色星期五,震惊全球。这一数字几乎是2013年双十一销售额记录的两倍。

有一种趋势日渐明朗,从一般心理学的角度来看,中国当今的社会正无时不刻变得越来越浮躁。留心的话,你甚至可以观察到都市文化对新一代草根网民展示出的那种浮躁不已的态度——诸如今年大红大紫的神曲《我的滑板鞋》和《小苹果》充斥着各大城市的大街小巷,它们堪称小丑心态,是一种更深层次的赤裸裸的讽刺。这凸显了人们在平衡彼此关系时的种种不确定性。而人们把这种不安谱写成毫无意义的歌词和走调的曲调来掩饰内心的不安。

让我们再回到“我们似乎还嫌麻烦不够多”这一问题,请问这真的是我们对待生活得过且过的态度以及在新的一年的决心吗?中国社会阶层分化日趋严重才是我们要面对的一大关键问题。但我们大多数人却纷纷选择袖手旁观,寄希望于应对这种不合理现象的所谓的“规则”。当房价过高时,我们忍受着更高的房租。当我们拥有少得可怜的空闲时间时,我们选择挤出时间把辛苦积攒的积蓄用于毫无意义的旅游和逃避。当超市出售贵的离谱的牛肉时,我们苦等双十一,然后从网上淘一些回来。当周围的一切都在“飙涨”时,我们却还嫌不够,我们对此心甘情愿。

保持这些欲望的高涨最终会使事情变得一发不可收拾,这听起来就有几分可怕。旅途中的年轻人会毫不犹豫地提供顺风车,殊不知有时已将自己置于危险之中,网购一族最终发现欠了银行数百万,人们抱怨着种种不公平,但却不做出改变。

我们需要的仅仅是更多的钱?马云 —— 阿里巴巴创始人,中国新首富以及双十一购物狂欢节的缔造者 —— 今年向媒体表示:“成为首富后我丝毫不感到快乐。人们开始争着抢着效力于你,仅仅是为了你兜里的钱。想当初,我在一间仅仅40平米的公寓中创办阿里巴巴时,那时我才是世界上最快乐的人。”

现在再回到你坚定不移的新年决心上,说了这么多,你会重新考虑这个问题吗?研究发现,当人们雄心勃勃想要大展身手时,等待他们的往往是大打折扣或是不甚惊艳的结果。

在此,我们建议人们采取专注、耐心以及冷静的态度。将你的远大抱负细化到日常工作、家庭以及生活之中——这时你才能发现你最在乎什么,到底是什么让你真正感到快乐。追随你在乎的事物,跟着直觉走,最多下三个决心。

不可否认的是,在中国如今正在经历的这个时代,我们能够强烈地感受到这种躁动不安,而这往往会轻易地转化为盲目和冷酷无情。但毕竟新年来临。我们仍然可以在这个象征性的时刻选择稍作停顿,重设时钟,做出正确的选择。多花些时间沉下心来思考,认真对待,让它吸收阳光,使你感到真正快乐的阳光——并非转瞬即逝的APEC蓝,而是你内心深处的青金石般的天空。当你决心自爱的时候,你会发现平衡其他充满正能量的决心并非一件难事。

今年,你能否在你的“决心字典”里真心地放入“轻松”这个词—— 而不是“躁动不安”?

 

Literally, we people in this nation China is not gifted much with symbols such as imagination and relaxation. We are more found in the dictionary of dedication, perspiration, being shrewd and never getting behind. And these attributions lie deep in the way we work, raise a family and, of course, make prospection for the New Years ahead.

Remember a glimpse of stunning ‘APEC blue’ sky wiping off the so-called ‘Peking mist’ for quite a few days 2014? Both new phases were come up with by Chinese netizens in a slight irony of the temporally nice weather in Beijing during the summit. Surprisingly, Chinese leader Xi Jinping quoted the ‘APEC blue’ and made the frontal statement on tackling the environmental problem, which could not be assumed before. I could hardly but notice that the society as a whole is acquiring more sense of humor. It looks good, but more out of an impressure of helplessness from a broader view.

Symptoms are showcasing that more than ever we are getting restless, more problems are existent in the rapidly transforming society, and still, we want more.

Celebrating its 10 years anniversary, a travel & vacation booking website Qyer.com is gaining both explosive growth and controversy in China this year. The website name means ‘poor travel’. ‘One of my resolution in 2015 is to quit my job and travel around the world, even if I don’t have that much money but if I save a bit and take part-time job during the trip I can go more countries.’ Sylvie Chan, a Taiwanese girl is getting obsessive with this idea as she loves travelling but often with limited budget, so do over millions of young people in China nowadays from college students to neo-white collars.

What is the drive behind that tendency of travelling as much as possible, instead of obtaining a ‘real life near around’? Many of the elder generation would wonder but never explain. What’s more, young people nowadays may not only desire much in travelling, but also in buying more and more. The Black Friday in China – ’11.11’ shopping festival by T-mall this year, even quieter than the last couple of years, still beats the US Black Friday and the world this year by an astonishing sales record of RMB 54.1 billion for one day. It is almost twice as much as the record in 2013.

It is gradually clear that the society of China at the times is gaining a general psychology of blundering all the time. You can even observe that from the flippancy revealed by urban culture toward the new clodhopper citizens in China – the extremely popular songs this year ‘Skateboard shoes’ and ‘Little apple’ mocked by the pumped up kicks in the city, are mimic and naked irony which from deeper, show the uncertainty of the people in balancing the relationship between each other. And people turn all these into pointless lyrics and off-key tunes to cover up the unsafety.

Back to the issue about ‘we want more’, is that really an okay attitude faced with our lives, and our resolution for the New Year? The gap of different class getting bigger is the key problem we may be faced up with here. But most people choose to do nothing but obtaining the so-called rules supposed to be feedback to the unreasonable. When the housing is more expensive we pay more rents. When we have less free time we squeeze time and put our money into meaningless travel and escape. When the supermarket sells absurdly priced beef we wait till 11.11 and buy some online. When it gets higher we want more, and we are happy to do so.

It is sort of horrific having the idea that keeping these desire high would end up in things not controllable. The travelling young people would spare a free ride while they are embedding dangers toward themselves, the online shopping family finally owing the bank over millions, the people complaining about the unfairness while not making a change.

Do we need more money only? Jack Ma, the founder of Alibaba and the new richest in China, and the man who created the shopping extravaganza 11.11, stated to the media this year that it is not happy at all being the richest. ‘People start work their way around you only for one reason being, your money. I was the happiest man on earth when I was running a start-up Alibaba in an exactly 40 square meters apartment.’

Reviewing back to the resolution you are so sure about and determined to make the next year, would you consider it again? There is one finding that when people are being ambitious about everything and want to make a change fully in all ways, they would usually be ended up with little achievement, or much less impressive.

Here we suggest an attitude of focus, patience and calm down. Narrow down your ambition into work, family and YOUR life – what do you see that you value the most and what are the things that can make you truly happy? Follow with those value and your instinct and make no more than three resolution.

We cannot deny that in a times like what China is getting through we can strongly feel restless, which could easily turn to aimlessness and relentlessness. But it is a new year after all. We can still at this typical moment choose to pause a bit, reset the clock and make it right. Spend more time with yourself, treat it well and make it absorb the real sunshine you could sincerely enjoy – not the APEC blue, but the lapis sky in heart. And when you learn by the resolution of loving yourself, you’ll find it less difficult to balance the other resolutions that will finally turning into more positive feedbacks from whatever around you.

Can you maybe put one word honestly in your dictionary of resolution this year instead of ‘restlessness’: relaxation?

Young female traveler using smart phone at Berlin central station

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