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Say Goodbye to Procrastination 如何帮助孩子摆脱拖延症?

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By Yanyun Wang

Children always have a reason to delay, and wasting hours to count A to Z stuff, leaving homeworks to tomorrow, though they can actually do today. Most of the children have these problems, so the parents push their kids to correct. Frankly, the sense of time of children related with unseemly parenting and coddling from parents.

Daniel always sleeps late in the morning, no matter how many time the alarm rings and mama calls, he can only get up until it is too late to go school. There is no time for breakfast and clearing, so his mother helps Daniel to handle all the preparing things. In fact, Daniel’s mother knows that  these ‘helping’ is not good for shaping her son, however, due to the tender love, she still willing to do. But this, indulges her son in dependency and Procrastination.

The best way to manage with this situation is encouraging the kids to control their time by themselves. For example, making a deal with the children that they will take responsibility for teacher’s punishment because of being late. So the children will recognize their errors and correct them due to selfrespect. Meanwhile, parents should not break the rule out of sympathy, otherwise the kids may doubt the value of faith.
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Beside what we discuss above, it is also important to unconscious guide children to pay attention on a certain thing. Some kids have very high efficiency, but some of them are not. More than half of the parents think that their children can’t do their homeworks because of lack of concentration in class. But no. Try to take a closer look at your child whether they are really fully concentrate on their study. Actually they walk out of room for a drink, for bathroom, for little chatting with parents several times. Under this condition, the children have few time to study, while they waste two thirds of time to do unrelated things.One of my friend salves this issue in a quite smart way. At night, he took out a new stopwatch and said to his son,”do you know how to use it?”Of course, his son didn’t know. So my friend continued,”I teach you how to use it, and then you take this to count your time for homeworks, OK?” Then his son rushed to his room immediately. After a while, the kid said with proud,”Dad, look, 20 minutes! Read a magazine, dad, I will count.”As you can see, my friend already get his intention. His son takes 20 minutes rather then 1 hour as usual, that means the rest time is unrelated and have no sense. This case may help parents know how important their right guide is.

Sometimes, parents make orders like ‘Study half an hour more’,’Read ten minutes more’to force their kids to learn when they are parenting. But for kids, there is only mind wandering left, and their attention is on time not books anymore. Parents should keep the balance between quality and quantity. Time management is one of the major points in family education. Helping children understand the value of time should be on the parenting list.

孩子做事情拖拉,明明十几分钟能写完的作业,却磨磨蹭蹭拖到2个小时;有些今天能做的事情,非要拖到明天,甚至后天⋯⋯这些问题时常发生在孩子身上,为此,做父母的难免会着急。其实很多孩子不懂得时间的概念,与家长平时的娇惯和不恰当的教育方式有关系。

丹尼尔爱睡懒觉,每天早上闹钟响了,也起不了床,妈妈一遍一遍地喊也不管用,不磨蹭到迟到很难起床,这时候早饭也来不及吃了,衣服也让妈妈帮忙穿了,收拾书包,洗脸刷牙等等都在妈妈的辅助下快速完成。实际上,妈妈知道这样对孩子的自我控制能力培养不好,但偏偏还是心疼孩子,帮着做了。这就助长了孩子的依赖心理和拖延习惯。

对付这种情况,最行之有效的办法就是让孩子自主把握时间安排。比如要求早上七点起床,并且和孩子约定好如果上学迟到被老师批评要自己承担。这样一来,稍微有自尊心的孩子,会马上意识到自己的错误,逐渐改掉坏习惯。这里需要家长们同样遵守约定,不能因为孩子可能会挨骂而感到不安,从而打破约定。这也会导致孩子们对于守信用的道德价值产生怀疑。
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除了做硬性的约定外,潜意识引导孩子集中注意力也是很重要的。同在一个班,有些孩子写作业效率非常高,有些孩子却老是熬更守夜,搞得睡眠不足。多数家长会以为是孩子上课没听懂,不会做题,其实不然。细心的家长会发现,孩子在家学习的时候,根本没有进入全神贯注的状态。一会儿喝杯水,一会儿上个厕所,一会儿跟父母说两句话,一会儿收拾收拾房间。这时,孩子在学习过程中的有效利用时间非常少,浪费的时间占去三分之二。看似孩子在努力认真,其实大量时间都与学习无关。笔者认识的一位朋友却巧妙地规避了这个问题。那天晚上朋友掏出新买的秒表问他儿子:“你知道怎么用秒表吗?”儿子当然没见过,立刻产生兴趣。接着朋友就说:“我教你怎么用,然后你算算你写作业用了多长时间,好吗?”孩子急匆匆地就回到屋里开始写作业。没过多久,孩子就拿着秒表跑出来邀功:“爸,你看,才二十分钟!你去看本杂志,我算算你用多久。”朋友这时目的已经达到了,孩子平时要磨蹭一个多小时的作业其实二十分钟就能做完,中间节省的就是无关紧要浪费的时间。这个例子就是希望各位家长们明白,只要能够认真地引导孩子,很多道理常识都能够在潜移默化中教会孩子。提高孩子的办事效率对以后工作生活都有非常重要的作用。

家长们在对待孩子的懒惰、拖延时,一定不要生硬地命令孩子“再看半个小时”,“再读十分钟”,这只会让孩子觉得时间更漫长难熬,而且注意力已经偏向熬过时间,而不是在学习本身。父母应该要关注孩子学习的质量和效率,而不是单纯的学习时间。孩子的时间管理教育是家庭教育中非常重要的一点,希望家长们学会帮助孩子养成节约时间,合理利用时间的好习惯。

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