By Oasis Ho

No matter which country or nation, it is always a tradition to think that a child’s first school is his home and their parents as their first teachers. Family education like everything else, need to start with the basics.

The traditions start off with the basics. Having family education as a custom, both parents are divided to teach different things. The mother teaches their children things that will get them through everyday life like how to do housework, making their beds, keeping their rooms clean and keep themselves healthy. While the father normally teaches them with the basics of what the school will teach them like writing, spelling, and expanding their vocabulary. Parents often start this “family education” on their child’s early childhood because it’s always known that do not let the children lose at the starting line. This is quite understandable because most of the Chinese parents want their children to become ‘hidden tigers’ during their growth. It is interesting to find out such phenomenon: let the two-year-old Chinese children began to accept the “bilingual education”. Do parents really think their infants can understand all? Frankly, these parents may not expect that high but the very reason is that they don’t want to make their children left behind. Parents are thought to impose their expectation on their children but do most children fulfill that? The Chinese children are always under the protection of their parents. When some crisis occurs, the failure of their children makes parents feel helpless, angry and sad. They worry about everything from the child’s self-esteem and social development to their future success. The tradition of Chinese family education is clearly revealed.

In most of Chinese families, it is a tradition to be successful and to be socially active. Let’s take a look at some American parents. They prepare their kids for life with or without tradition. Not caring what other people would say that they tell their kids that life is what you show first. Not comparing their children with the fellows, the Americans think everyone is unique. Every child has many ways of being smart. They teach you how to be yourself. When a child is taught, in China you have rules. While in America, parents give their children more freedom and encouraging them to have an independent mind and to have a strong heart when facing challenges. For what a parent encourages can also change a child when developing his mind. When a child is taught to the Chinese ways of life, parents are more dominant, they want their place as parents to teach but in America, they treat their children as friends. Chinese parents care about the future way too much that when their child is studying all the time, they only take time to ask for if their child is attentive in class and after, carries on and forgets to ask how the child is and how everything is.

Chinese parents, take it easy to accompany your children during their growth. Why don’t change the traditional way of family teaching? Parents have an important role in helping their kids appreciate themselves and fulfill their potential. Children are influenced by their parents’ attitudes and beliefs, so they will benefit if their parents have a positive approach towards themselves and take an active interest in what they are learning at school instead of being pushed.

On the other hand, why don’t parents instill those kinds of values in their children: respect, kindness, honesty, courage, perseverance, self-discipline, compassion, generosity, dependability. Doing so will protect them from potentially negative societal influences and lay the foundation for them to become good citizens. We are not fulfilling our responsibilities as parents if we don’t try to instill solid morals in our children. Of course, this is often easier said than done.

对于任何一个国家或民族来说，人们一般将家庭视为孩子的第一个学校，而父母则是他们人生的第一个导师。和万事万物一样，家庭教育也需要从基础起步。

传统的教育要从最简单的事情开始。将家庭教育视为一种习俗，父亲和母亲各负责教授孩子不同的东西。母亲通常教给孩子们一些日常生活方面的事情，例如，如何干家务活，如何整理床铺，如何让房间保持清洁和使自己保持健康等，而父亲常常教给孩子在学校里将会学到的东西，如书写、拼写和扩大词汇量。父母常常在孩子童年的早期阶段就开启这样的“家庭教育”，因为俗语有云“别让孩子输在起跑线上”。这种做法是完全可以理解的，因为大部分的中国父母都希望其子女在成长阶段是“卧虎藏龙”，但让两岁大的中国孩子开始接受“双语教育”，这种现象是非常值得玩味的。难道父母们真的认为他们的宝宝可以理解所学的一切？坦率地说，这些父母并没有抱很高的期望，他们只是觉得不能让自己的孩子落于人后。父母将自己的期望加强在子女身上，但大部分孩子又是否达成了父母的愿望了呢？中国的孩子总是在父母的庇护下长大，当遭遇一些挫折时，孩子们的失败会让其父母感到无助、愤怒和悲伤。他们担忧孩子的一切事情，从孩子的自尊心和社交能力到其未来的成功。中国传统的家庭教育模式至此就清晰可见了。

在大部分的中国家庭中，传统上都希望子女获得成功并有很好的社交能力。让我们看看美国的父母是如何做的。他们用传统或非传统的方式让孩子们为生活做好准备，告诉他们不要在意别人的看法，首先要展现自己的生活。美国人不会将自己的孩子与其小伙伴们进行比较，他们认为每个孩子都是独一无二的，都可以通过多种方式展现出自己才智，他们教你如何做自己。中国的孩子在学习时是要遵循一定的规则的，而在美国，父母给予孩子更多的自由，鼓励他们独立思考，在遭遇挑战时要有一颗坚强的心。在思维发展方面，父母的鼓励有可能会改变一个孩子。当用中国式的方法教导孩子时，父母更具主导性，他们以父母的身份教导孩子，而美国的父母则把孩子当作朋友。在中国孩子的学习过程中，中国的父母过多地关心孩子的未来，他们只关心自己的孩子在课堂上是否专心听讲，放学后是否继续认真学习，而忽视了孩子今天过得如何以及是否一切都好等问题。

中国的父母们，在陪伴孩子成长过程中要学会放轻松，为什么不改变一下传统的家庭教育方法呢？父母在帮助孩子学会自我赏识和发挥自我潜力的过程中发挥着重要的作用。父母的态度和信念会对孩子产生极大的影响，所以如果父母能以积极的态度看待自己的孩子并能对孩子在学校里所学的东西表现出极大的兴趣，而不是逼迫他们学习，这将使孩子们受益匪浅。

另一方面，为什么父母不向孩子灌输尊重他人、善良、诚实、勇敢、毅力、自律、同情、慷慨、可靠这样的价值观呢？这样做可以保护孩子们不受社会上可能存在的不良风气的影响，为他们将来成为良好公民奠定基础。如果没有尽力向我们的孩子灌输正确的道德观念，我们就没能履行作为家长应履行的责任。当然，这通常是说起来容易，做起来难。